My child’s tantrums seems to be getting worse rather than better – surely there are some solutions out there for me!

Here are a few tips from Miriam on how to prevent tantrums and how to deal with them when they happ

• Why do children have tantrums? Tantrums happen when children believe, rightly or wrongly, that their needs are not being met. Our job is to teach our kids to ask for what they need or want appropriately.
• The first step is: don't give in. If we do, children learn that tantrums are effective is getting them what they want (which is almost certainly nothing they need).
• Prevent tantrums by preparing for success. Think about your plans and highlight the potential trouble spots: that your daughter is likely to demand a third bedtime story, or your son may pester you for treats in the supermarket.
• Talk about it. Take a quiet moment to ask them how they think they might feel if they don’t get what they want and what they think they – and you – should do about it.
• Let off steam. Give them time to run around and expend some physical energy before you go somewhere they are expected to behave quietly.
• Remain calm. When they do have a tantrum in a public place, try to remain calm – difficult as this may be – as your anger will only make it worse. Wait it out, or leave the place with your child.
• Ride out the storm. Let them give vent to their feelings, then give comfort when they have calmed down.
• Don't let them off the hook. Come back to and deal with whatever happened once the emotional levels are back to normal.
• Talk it through. Ask them about how they behaved and what they were feeling. Tell them how they made you feel. Encourage them to come up with alternatives and agree what you will both do next time.
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